This week’s business meeting took a turn I didn’t expect—but maybe we needed it. We dove into a topic that’s personal for me, and if we’re honest, probably for most of us in this industry: dopamine and the way real estate plays into our addiction to the chase.
Let’s start here: dopamine isn’t about the reward—it’s about the pursuit of the reward. It’s that hit you get when the client says, “We’re writing an offer,” and your brain immediately lights up with anticipation. It’s why we refresh our email 83 times in a row or jump every time the phone buzzes. And in real estate, where your job is to stay moving, stay available, stay responsive… that pursuit never really ends.
We’re wired for the chase.
And if we’re not careful, it wires us to burn out.
I got vulnerable and told the room something I wasn’t proud of: I had picked up my phone 245 times a day. A DAY. (The goal from a podcast I listened to? To keep your phone pickups under your sugar intake in grams. Let’s just say I was way off.)
Even worse, I thought I was giving myself rest when I wasn’t. Scrolling social media at night? That’s not rest. That’s feeding the same pursuit mindset that had me constantly “on” during the day. The real wake-up call came on a Sunday when I left my phone in the car during church. The world didn’t collapse. Nobody desperately needed me. Except for Apple, who politely told me what my screen time was for the week.
That moment of awareness shifted everything.
Since January, I’ve started setting small boundaries. I don’t bring my phone into church. I’ve turned off non-essential notifications (Candy Crush, I’m looking at you). I use app limits on social media—just one hour a day now. And I’ve challenged the people in my office to do the same. Start small. Start somewhere. But start.
Because here's what I know: agents are dopamine junkies. We live for the listing presentation, the negotiation, the late-night text that says “they’re going to write.” But we don’t always know how to shut that off. And when we finally get the listing or close the deal, we sometimes feel… weirdly deflated.
That’s dopamine at work. The high was in the chase.
If we don’t find healthier, more sustainable ways to reset—walks, real human conversations, gratitude texts, even just reading a book—we burn out. Not because we’re weak, but because we’re human. And our brains can’t live in pursuit-mode 24/7.
So if you’re in real estate (or sales, or just life right now), here’s my encouragement:
→ Get aware. Check your pickups. Look at your screen time.
→ Set some guardrails. Turn off one notification. Put your phone away during dinner.
→ Choose recovery. Not scrolling. Real rest. Real connection.
You don’t have to opt out of tech. You just have to stop letting it run the show.
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